Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
