Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
