I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
