Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
