Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
