I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
