i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
