There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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