Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
