I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
whose ass print is on the piano?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
