he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
