The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
