shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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