But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
