Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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