why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
