I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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