I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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