SEEEEXXX PLEASE
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
