I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
