your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
