I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
