I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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