i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i think im in europe. pls send help
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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