Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
