That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
