Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
...so i touched it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
