maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
