And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
