I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
