Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
