Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
