one two three fourrrrnication!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
