listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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