Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
