That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
