im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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