People in love make me want to vomit
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
