Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
