There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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