Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it was like eating out sand paper
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
