im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
