they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
