she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
