Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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