Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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