Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
