i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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