I heard we made out
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
