So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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