I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
