I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My penis needs a shock collar
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
